"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

A Christmas Story.


Well folks we are very nearly there now, it’s Christmas Eve
did everyone hear that Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!!!
I wish for you all a joyous Christmas and A Happy New Year.
 
A Christmas Story
 
'Twas the night before Christmas..‘n Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
 
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa".. what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money.. the reindeer all fight.
 
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,


They say I owe taxes.. if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
 And the kids these days.. they all are the pits

They want the impossible.. those mean little sh*ts


I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls.. their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's.. no request for them,
They want computers and robots.. they think, I'm IBM!
 
Flying through the air.. dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
 
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

11 comments:

bulletbow said...

A sign of the TIMES! (I hope not)! Merry Christmas to you Peter! ~ jb///

bubba said...

Merry Christmas.

Da Gal said...

oh my gawd peter this is the best. do you mine if I still this for one of my postings? I love it!!!

Merry Christmas to you again!!!

Meg

Lew said...

I heard he hasn't gone south but is locked up in the segregation unit. :)

Carolyn said...

Ho, Ho, Ho! :D

Have a wonderful Christmas Peter. (I almost forgot it's already Christmas Eve where you are)

P.S. I've always wondered-- where do folks who live "down under" go when they go south?

bulletbow said...

Carolyn ~ I think it is called Tasmania! ~ jb///

Peter said...

Well answered Jerry, (bulletbow) I don't think this expresses Santa's true feelings but it is funny.
Meg, of course you may use it, it's from my favourite author, anonymous.
Merry Christmas to all, next greeting will be "Happy New Year" I hope the PC don't have a problem with this!!!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Merry Christmas Peter! Love the new version of Night Before Christmas!

Jeanette said...

A Very Merry Xmas peter

Jerry said...

Merry Christmas Down Under, Peter!

Jamie Dawn said...

Santa is being naughty and VERY cranky!

Have a marvelous Christmas, Peter!!!!