"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The week after Christmas


While this was obviously written by a lady, the general

premise can be applied to a man, we have probably all

been guilty of a bit of over-indulgence in the past few

weeks, the price we pay sits there on our frames

declaring us to the world as overeater’s.


The week after Christmas


‘Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibble, the eggnog I’d taste

All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.


When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk more a lumber.)

I’d remember the the marvelous meals I’d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared…


The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way that I’d never said, “No, thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt

And prepared once again to battle the dirt…


I said to myself, as only I can,

“You can’t spend the winter dressed like a man!”

So away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.


Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

‘Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick,

I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.


I won’t have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,

I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore…

But isn’t that what January is for?


Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot

Happy new years to all

And to all a good diet.


Author Unknown.


11 comments:

kenju said...

I could have written that, Peter, and I do need to lose a few pounds. But dieting is foreign to me; I have never done it and I hate to deny myself. What I need is exercise. That will melt off the pounds for me (as long as I can just motivate myself to actually do it)!

Karen said...

LOL That is so funny and true for the most part. I didn't go over board too much, I didn't gain anything... whew.

Have a great day!

Cliff Morrow said...

Man Peter, I hate it when someone writes something that hits so close to the target. They must have been reading my mail.

Carolyn said...

Yep, this is ME, lol! I loved this, may I print it off for my refridgerator? (It's my fridge that needs to get rid of the fatty foods, lol!)

bubba said...

This is the first year that it doesn't apply to me. Since my health took a nose dive, I watch it.

mreddie said...

Good one Peter, and very fitting - unlike some of our clothes. :) ec

Big Dave T said...

Sounds like me too. I skipped lunch today and I played basketball at the gym, trying to shed those holiday pounds. I think I'll have to skip lunch every day and play basketball for the next three months to put me back to my fighting weight.

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ What no MENTION of VEGAMITE on this list? ~ jb///

Peter said...

Get it WRITE Jerry it's VEGEMITE, translation; sandwich spread of the Gods.

Theresa said...

Oh yeah...that's me alright!

LZ Blogger said...

Sorry Peter! How could I make such a mistake about something that tastes EXACTLY like it LOOKS! ;)
Just joking, I KNOW it is an AQUIRED taste (and I have NONE!) ~ jb///