"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Aren't Dogs Wonderful


Just a few funnies for the weekend, (starting early this week)
I've got a diamond wedding anniversary to go to on the weekend,
Imagine 60 years, Wow! you only get about 10 years for murder!!


Aren't Dogs Wonderful.


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
instead of his tongue.

-Anonymous


Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are wonderful.

-Ann Landers


If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to
go where they went.

-Will Rogers


There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking
your face.

-Ben Williams


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than
he loves himself.

-Josh Billings


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

-Andy Rooney


We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love
we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's
the best deal man has ever made.

-M. Acklam


Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite
unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always
have to mix love and hate.

- Sigmund Freud



I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a
weird religious cult.

-Rita Rudner


A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn
around threetimes before lying down.

-Robert Benchley


Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never
washed a dog.

-Franklin P. Jones


If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is
that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven,
and very, very few persons.

-James Thurber


If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

-Unknown


My dog is worried about the economy because
Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00
in dog money.

-Joe Weinstein


Ever consider what our dogs must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store
with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,
half a cow. They must think we're the greatest
hunters on earth!

-Anne Tyler


Women and cats will do as they please, and men
and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

-Robert A. Heinlein


If you pick up a starving dog and make him
prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.

-Mark Twain


You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the
dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're
right! I never would've thought of that!'

- Dave Barry


Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our
lives whole.

-Roger Caras


If you think dogs can't count, try putting three
dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only
two of them.

-Phil Pastoret


My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog
already thinks I am

 

A Popular President.


A man, on his way home from work, came to a dead halt in traffic
and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual.
Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines
of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the
hold up?"

The officer replies, "President Bush is just so depressed about the
thought of not contesting the next election that he stopped his
motorcade in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to
douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family
hates him and he doesn't have the money to pay for
the new house renovations. We're taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you got so far?"

"About one hundred gallons, but a lot of people are still syphoning."


Oh to be so popular!!!

16 comments:

FTS said...

I've known several dogs I prefer over people. ;)

kenju said...

I am still siphoning!

Joy Des Jardins said...

These were great Peter...thanks. Hey, I love the picture of Vickie, you and Merle back at Merle's site...it's not TOO obvious that you two are brother and sister, huh?

StringMan said...

The Dave Barry quote is so true - that's the best part about dogs.

mreddie said...

Dogs are supposed to be 'dumb animals' - we could learn a lot from them. I did smile a lot, as hard is that to believe. :) ec

mreddie said...

But I can't type or spell worth a hoot! :) ec

Merle said...

Good post

The Heir said...

Hey Grampa, hows Queensland treating you? Oxfords teasing us by snowing but not settling, the ponds are frozen but not solid enought to walk on (unwisely I tried this anyway) and the suns out but its still about minus 3 degrees!
I'm having a lot of fun though, spent a weekend on retreat with some friends up at a place called Boars Hill above Oxford- greta view of the city! May have just found a more permanent place to live, have been staying in someones attic which is fun but the novelty is wearing off. I'm back in Oz in May for 2 weeks at least, mostly classes but I'm trying to swing a holliday somehow, only problem is its really busy over here at the moment so it may not work too good.
I figure this is probably the easiest way of staying in touch now that half the family have blogs. Liked the one about it being the best deal man ever made!
Love You heaps!
Zachariah

bornfool said...

I love the dog quotes. They do make a great example of unconditional love.

Jamie Dawn said...

Funny!

Our dog is named Simba. She is old and just lies around. She loves just looking in through the family room door/window and watching us.

Enjoy the big anniversary celebration. WOW!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Oh, this stuff is so good and I am so stealing from you. You da man! (as spectators at a golf match would say).

Cliff Morrow said...

good dog stories. Funny, the first time I heard the last joke, President Clinton was stopped on the freeway. Good re-write.

LZ Blogger said...

DOGS! DOGS! DOGS! ~ I hope the trip is going well! ~ jb///

Carolyn said...

These are so true!

And I have about 5-gallons of gas siphoned--

Hale McKay said...

(Panting) You ever try to siphon gasoline from the gas station's tanks. Those darn things must be 50 feet underground. I'm still out of breath.
...Great dog quotes, Pete. The Bush joke was great!

Boobabe said...

Love the dog quotes. My cats are pretty loyal and loving too but on their terms.