Aren't Dogs Wonderful

Just a few funnies for the weekend, (starting early this week) 
I've got a diamond wedding anniversary to go to on the weekend, 
Imagine 60 years, Wow! you only get about 10 years for murder!!

Aren't Dogs Wonderful.

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
instead of his tongue.

-Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are wonderful.

-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to
go where they went.

-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking
your face.

-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than
he loves himself.

-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love
we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's
the best deal man has ever made.

-M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite
unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always
have to mix love and hate.

- Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a
weird religious cult.

-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn
around threetimes before lying down.

-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never
washed a dog.

-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is
that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven,
and very, very few persons.

-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because
Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00
in dog money.

-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store
with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,
half a cow. They must think we're the greatest
hunters on earth!

-Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men
and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him
prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.

-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the
dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're
right! I never would've thought of that!'

- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our
lives whole.

-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three
dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only
two of them.

-Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog
already thinks I am

A Popular President.

A man, on his way home from work, came to a dead halt in traffic
and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual.
Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines
of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the
hold up?"

The officer replies, "President Bush is just so depressed about the
thought of not contesting the next election that he stopped his
motorcade in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to
douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire. He says his family
hates him and he doesn't have the money to pay for
the new house renovations. We're taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you got so far?"

"About one hundred gallons, but a lot of people are still syphoning."

Oh to be so popular!!!