"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, April 03, 2006

George Dubya Bush

Presidents of The United States of America have always had a serious impact
on the world for one reason or another, but it would appear that President
Bush may well be best remembered for his mutilation of the English language,
and a blatant disregard for good speech writers.


George Dubya Bush


"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country. "
- George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one
word is ' to be prepared '."
- George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in
the future. "
- George W. Bush

" The future will be better tomorrow."
-George W. Bush

" We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- George W. Bush

" I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- George W. Bush

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have
a firm commitment to Europe We are a part of Europe."
- George W. Bush

" Public speaking is very easy."
- George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. "
- George W. Bush


"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- George W. Bush


"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children. "
- George W. Bush


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our
air and water that are doing it."
- George W. Bush


" It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- George W. Bush


And who could forget the bucketful dumped by Michael Moore.


Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina
and thousands remain stranded in
New Orleans and need to be airlifted.
Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers?
Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot.
Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really
use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping
with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south
Florida and sat outside while the eye of
Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but
it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still
homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on
its way to
New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you?
I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you
don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers
of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to
Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't
let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and
what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you
specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for
New
Orleans
this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that
even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going
to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much
more important construction job for them --

BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was
moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds
as you flew over
New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the
disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on
some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it
against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to
nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen
because the water in the
Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter
making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global
warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that
was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from
New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30
percent of
New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had
no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean,
it's not like this happened to
Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving
white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race
has nothing --

NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army
helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of
New Orleans
and the
Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore

MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch.
She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving
across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can
catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.


8 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ These are good jokes. It's
strange how we make jokes about our leaders, Guess some of them invite us
to do so.
Sorry about robbing you of a Premiership
Cheers, Merle.

bubba said...

I'm thinking that Bush is not liked? I'm sure glad nobody recorded my mistakes for years. Would have made his seem tame lol. He is not liked by me either but for a whole lot of other reasons. From long ago. Hopefully I don't die before I can write them lol

Jacqui said...

Love the George Dubya Bush stuff.

I am suitably chastised for not keeping up the blogging etiquette, and have made amends, I hope. Thank you for the intro., I'll try to uphod the Holt family blogging name.

Jacqui said...

Forgot to say "Go the Eagles"

Jamie Dawn said...

Bush sure does flub up the language a lot.
He doesn't seem to give a rip, though. Why should he?
It's not like he needs to learn to talk better in order to land a better job.
He's a straight talking guy. What you see is what you get. I like that he does what he thinks is best and doesn't waffle all around based on polls or whining.
I have no respect for the ultra-whiner, Michael Moore. He makes entertaining documentaries, but he is basically full of crap.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I liked your Bush speech blunders, but I'm not crazy about Michael Moore...he seems to be a cry baby.
Bush can sure mess up our language, but what would we have to joke about if he was a great public speaker.
Who cares if he messes up...it makes him look normal and he sure doesn't care either.

I sure wish he wouldn't of sent Katrina to mess up poor old New Orleans though...because that made him look bad, and I had relatives there that lost their homes and guess what? They weren't black...but they did have enough sense to heed the warnings & leave. I sure Bush doesn't blow-up another hurricane this year.

We may joke about our president, but he was elected twice. In case the world hasn't noticed we joke about all our presidents...it's expected, especially if you like them.

Hale McKay said...

Wow! I thought I had cornered the market on Bush's skill with English in my blog "Bushisms." You had a bunch I hadn't seen. Good job.
....As for Michael Moore - He's not worthy of my comments.

CameraDawktor said...

Your post reminded me of a video of a comedian on my cousin's blog. I think it is quite funny, check it out! http://wtfnfwomg.blogspot.com/2006/03/george-caliendo.html