Awesome Melons.

Awesome Melons, I was immediately attracted by this
headline, what man wouldn't be?

And what a joy to find
the great carvings that
were on display there.

I have no idea who is
resposible for these
wonderful pieces but




I do know that they are

very talented.




The craft skills that are
everywhere today just
boggle my mind.



******************************************************

Australian Workplace Agreement

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.
Every effort should be made to have non-employees
attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should
be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and
subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.
There is now strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open,
and a picture will be taken. After your second offence,
your picture will be posted on the company bulletin
board under the "Chronic Offenders category".
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned
under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need
to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size
people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal
to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5
minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to
drink a Slim-Fast.

Death Clause

Any worker found dead at their desk will be promptly
fired. All deaths will need to be applied for in advance
and will only be approved if your can show that your
death will not affect productivity.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustration's, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.