"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

California Dreamin'


I may be AWOL for a few days, it's my birthday on Sunday
and my Daughter Vicki and my Grandson Zac are coming
to help me celebrate my "three score and ten."

We will be away from home so I dont know what the internet
situation will be, I'll be in touch if I can be, and will be back
by mid week at the latest

The Caption say's stare at this picture, so that's
what I'm
doin',
just staring at the picture.



Californians.

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and
Texan jokes, you know you're from
California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying
on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose
ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers
and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee
beans are grown, and you can taste the difference
between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else
in the
U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at
8:30 am at Starbucks
wearing a baseball cap
and sunglasses who looks like
George Clooney… really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember... is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every
news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the
children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work
an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.
If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.


THE TEAPOT.

 
George was fixing the front door and he found that he needed
a new hinge, so he sent his wife Louise to the hardware store.
At the hardware store Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top
shelf while she was waiting for Henry, the manager, to finish
waiting on another customer.
When Henry was finished, Louise asked,
"How much for the teapot?"
 Henry replied, "That's real silver and it costs $500. "
"My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!" Louise exclaimed.  
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that George had
sent her to buy, and Henry went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Henry yelled,
"Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Louise hollered back, 
"Well, no..... but I will for that teapot!"

15 comments:

Hale McKay said...

LOL - great - just great. Love the teapot joke!
...You're pulling my leg, there's an ocean in that picture?
...Those California jokes are good too.
...Excellent post, mate.
...Happy birthday and have a good time.

Granny said...

I wished you Happy Birthday on Merle's blog but I'll do it again here.

No on the cell phones in most of the elementary schools around here so far. That would be middle school 6/8th grade.

Medical pot is legal according to the State but not the Feds who are busy closing clinics. Street pot illegal but decriminalized so it's like a traffic ticket.

Other than that I think you nailed it and we'll try to fix the Terminator situation in November.

Ann

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Have a great time at Warrens and then at Noosa, and we will see you when you get haome again. I have sent
you a small post bag with a gift in it,
so I hope you get it OK. Anyway, have a great birthday. Love, Merle.

Say Hi to Warren, ad Vick and Zac.

bubba said...

Happy birthday. I saw the ocean (I think). Good and funny jokes

bornfool said...

I never did see the ocean, but it was a beautiful picture anyway.

Lucy said...

Hey Happy Birthday! Go have fun and we'll be here when you get back.

Love those jokes...your a riot. I just love your blog..

JunieRose2005 said...

Happy (Early) Birthday, Peter!

Dang it ! I wrote you a poem- Now you'll probably miss it!

But I'll put it on at Junie's Place anyway-Maybe you'll find it!

Have fun!

June

OldHorsetailSnake said...

More great stuff, Peter. And Happy Soon-To-Be Birthday!!

Ms. Vickie said...

Peter, I saw the ocen, it was the wrong gender
and anatomy to keep the ocean awat from me...lol
Enjoyed the jokes. Have a happy B-day you don't
look a day over 30. Life Is Simply Good....Enjoy It.

JunieRose said...

LOL- Those *Hot Air Balloons* seem in danger of crashing into that Ocean!


Junie

Maria said...

Well, now I know why I fit in so well in California. We are delightfully the state of fruit and nuts and I wouldn't live anywhere else.

So I am extending an invitation to visit on behalf of all of the unique people here in the wonderful state of California. Trust me, you will like it. =)

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Since you will be gone on your birthday Happy early Birthday. Loved the jokes and I'm glad I moved away from California. And I'm legal.

LZ Blogger said...

This California stuff is so TRUE, take it from one who lived there over 50 years! ~ jb///

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Happy 70th Birthday Peter!

I tried to e-mail you a card, but my PC is all messed up. So, this is the card:

(Imagine singing...in a good voice...which I don't actually have of course.) Oh, happy birthday, oh, happy birthday, PAIN, misery and dispair, people dieing everywhere, BUT,
Oh, happy birthday, oh happy birthday.

StringMan said...

HAPPY 70TH PETER! I THINK TODAY IS THE DAY (28TH). YOU 'DA MAN!