California Dreamin'

I may be AWOL for a few days, it's my birthday on Sunday
and my Daughter Vicki and my Grandson Zac are coming
to help me celebrate my "three score and ten."

We will be away from home so I dont know what the internet
situation will be, I'll be in touch if I can be, and will be back
by mid week at the latest

The Caption say's stare at this picture, so that's
what I'm doin',
just staring at the picture.

Californians.

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and
Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying
on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose
ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers
and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee
beans are grown, and you can taste the difference
between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else
in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks
wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like
George Clooney… really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember... is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every
news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the
children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work
an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license.
If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

THE TEAPOT.

George was fixing the front door and he found that he needed
a new hinge, so he sent his wife Louise to the hardware store.

At the hardware store Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top
shelf while she was waiting for Henry, the manager, to finish
waiting on another customer.

When Henry was finished, Louise asked,
"How much for the teapot?"

 Henry replied, "That's real silver and it costs $500. "

"My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!" Louise exclaimed.  
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that George had
sent her to buy, and Henry went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Henry yelled,
"Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"

Louise hollered back, 
"Well, no..... but I will for that teapot!"