"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Magic Mirrors.


Every Girl Should Have One Of These, Just So Good For The Ego.


Can you imagine the hours of pleasure that could be yours
if you only had one of these magic mirros girls?

What women want in a man

Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet



14 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ These are all good. How we
change our tunes!!
Yes a good week to talk Football.
John gave me a door-bell that plays the
first 2 lines of "We are the navy blues"
LOUDLY. I'll attach it to the door when we win our next Premiership. I should
live so long.!! Cheers, Merle.

Jacqui said...

Hi Peter,

thanks for the tip about the ^^^^^

Some guys could get some use from the magic mirror, or perhaps it doesn't worry them what shape they are in.

Walter has taken to wearing braces, says they are more comfortable that the belt trying to hold the pants in remotely the correct position.

Before you say it "Poor Walter"

Karen said...

Hey! How did you get my photo?? ROFL

What is the men's side? Big boobs all the way then at 72, "big boobs that don't hit the floor?" ;-)

Have a great day!

Marcus said...

G'day Pop

I've been meaning to ask you for ages, how do you do that strike out thing through a word where you can still read the word? You've done it a couple of times and I've seen it elsewhere but can't track it down myself.

bubba said...

Very funny indeed.

Miss Cellania said...

Love that picture!

JunieRose2005 said...

That list is soooo funny!!


and-YES- I would LOVE one of those magic mirrors!


June

bornfool said...

It's a good thing priorities change with age. lol.

Big Dave T said...

Oh, Oh. I'm 52, but it looks like I'd fit the bill for a 62-year-old lady.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Peter...I love this list and I'm going to send it to my Aunt Virginia who is 79 years old to read...she'll get the biggest kick out of it.

I saw a cartoon with 2 mirrors...in one mirror the beer bellied man saw himself as muscular and in very good shape and in the other mirror the perfectly shaped slim woman saw herself in the mirror with big fat hips.

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ Sorry... but I think most women see themselves just the opposite! ~ jb///

Hale McKay said...

I'd say those are pretty accurate, Peter. Good post, per as usual.

Janice said...

Sad, but true!

Miss Cellania said...

I would go with the age 72 list. My last husband couldn't keep up either of those. I'm past the point of pickiness!

In fact, I told a young man in India that my requirements for a man are: 1. Be on MY continent. b. Not married, and 3. over 21. He only qualified for one of those.