"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

You Might Be An Okie

My apologies in advance to whoever I stole this from, (I usually make a note
when I do that,) if they were yours in the first place, take heart, I thought
them funny enough to pinch ‘em.

I thought it only fair to add these so it wouldn’t seem I was pickin’ on
redneck’s, I seem to recall I posted about Californians a while back too.

You might be an Okie if...

1. ~ You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Okemah, and Chickasha.

2. ~ You think that people who complain about the wind in their states
are sissies.

3. ~ A tornado-warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look
for a funnel.

4. ~ Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the highway.

5. ~ You’ve ever had to switch from “heat’ to “A/C’ in the same day.

6. ~ You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. ~ Stores don’t have bags. They have sacks.

8. ~ You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

9. ~ You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. ~ You measure distance in minutes.

11. ~ You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as “The City”.

12. ~ It doesn’t bother you to use an airport named for a man who died
in an airplane crash.

13. ~ Little smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. ~ You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. ~ You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. ~ You know cowpies are not made of beef.

17. ~ Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan his or her
wedding date.

18. ~ You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than
your fist.

19. ~ A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other
go first.

20. ~ You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.

21. ~ You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all
in the same store.

22. ~ Your “place at the lake” has wheels under it.

23. ~ A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4×4 is.

24. ~ You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. ~ You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how
to multiply.

26. ~ You actually get these jokes and are “fixin” to send them to
your friends.

27. ~ Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard
this conversation:

“You wanna coke?”
“What kind?”
“Dr. Pepper.”


Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Those are definately funny too and I can't tell the difference between Okies and Rednecks. Maybe just a little more sophistication?

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Quite good but I think the rednecks were funnier.
Don't you go knocking my balanced diet.
The chocolate was a joke. My fridge at
the moment is full of good food.
Pea soup, Lemon chicken, salad and a
couple of dinners, Roast chicken and
nine vegetables. Some of us eat veggies. Cheers, Merle.

Jacqui said...

I wonder if there these sorts of lists about us here in oz.

Yes marcus did tell me about "the bush christening". I really feel that the family should have as much input into the funeral service as they wish too.

I don't there will be too much of a problem finding people with good things to say at, but I'm also sure you could write a better epitah!!

Merle said...

Hi Again Peter ~~ I did not know about
Kelvin's list, but looked it up tonight.
He seems to be a fun fellow. I got
another new one today Jackt.
Do you ever read Michelle (thelady justitia,)? She is an Australian lawyer
and has some interesting stories.
Cheers, Merle.

Marcus said...

I defy that illiterate Yankee President to decipher some of the comments you're getting from the rellies!

What's the funeral talk about? You're only turning 70, you're not dying!

What about Richard Carlton though?

Jerry said...

Most definitely true, all of them. You may want to add #28 ~ You know that calf fries are not made from potatoes.