whether there is an acceptable level of "butcrack" or not.
By the way, did anyone notice the cieling fan?
What's the verdict Hoss?
Just incase anyone has suffered eye strain while conducting
the scientific research on the first picture, I have included
the very latest eye chart to allow you to do a self test of your
Love making tips for seniors.
While on matters pertaining to health, due to my very recent
elevation up the ladder so to speak, I have also included
some tips for amorous seniors.
1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
2. Set timer for two minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6 Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal
arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in
attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you
have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know,
you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong
way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so
seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a
private room where she proceeded to "relax" him...several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said,
"Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,
"I hope not, it's only 2130 now."