Double Chocolate Dip Please.

It's My Funeral and I'll Serve Ice Cream
If I Want To



Anyone fancy a double choc dipped special, for no particular
reason I've been giving some thought to my big send off,
I'm hoping that it's a fair way off yet but when it comes
around I'm thinking "Happiness" not sorrow.


When I read an article from the New York Times recently
expounding the joy of an ice cream truck with treats laid on
for the guests at a funeral I was sold instantly.


Pretty near any time of the year ice cream is okay in my
home state of Queensland, so unless it's summer time
I had better plan on departin' from here in Qld.


I don't know just what to suggest if it's cold, wet, wintery
weather, unlike some other places we are not big on foods
like hot dogs so my executors may have to use some of
their executive powers to solve that one.
(note to executors: maybe a package deal on some quality
Fush and Chups could be arranged?)


As long as everyone knows I wanted to buy 'em an ice cream.


The one major disappointment in my life has been my
complete inability to instil some musical taste into my
children, I despair of ever having them appreciate the beauty
of country music.


I have, over the years, accumulated some 1200/1300 CDs, of
which well over half are country music, we are talking about
700/900 CDs here that my kids don't like, I must add here that
my favourite daughter tolerates the genre, but I feel confident
in saying, does not want to inherit the collection.


Of these CDs there are 50 by my favourite artist, the late Slim
Dusty, out of sheer cussedness, my children have declared Slim
to be a no-go zone.


As a part of my pre-planning of the "Great Day" I have devised
a method of distributing my Slim Dusty CDs in a manner in
which the recipients will feel obliged to keep their little gifts,
"I'm gonna donate to all the good folk who attend my send off
A CD by Slim Dusty" should the number of guests somehow
exceed the number of Slims CDs we will draw on some more of
my favourites to make sure no one goes away empty handed or
in need of an ice cream.


There is a long standing arrangement that my son Marcus will
conduct the send off service, I herby give permission to each and
everyone who attends to boo and hiss if he doesn't come up with
anything nice to say about me, I have also given permission to
lie a little if necessary, never let the truth stand in the way of a
good story has been a family motto for many years.


Now should any of my Cyber Buddies out there feel the need to
attend this little get together I have given Marcus the keys to
holtieshouse with instructions that he post a farewell message
on my behalf, you will probably need to be pretty quick about
booking your flights to Australia if you are from overseas as I
am not gonna be able to hang around waitin' for you.