"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Chihuahua's 'n Other Things


Albert’s Chihuahua.

I read a joke over at Bornfool's that reminded me of this true story, a very good
friend of mine had a Chihuahua that, typical of the breed thought it was a
world beater, it used to patrol the boundary of the property yap, yap, yapping
a warning to all and sundry to stay clear.

My mate, Albert, was washing his car on the front lawn one day when he heard
his dog warning off a Doberman that was strutting by, he watched in
amazement as the yapping increased and without breaking stride the
Doberman picked up his Chihuahua and strutted off down the street with him
firmly clenched in his jaws.

Albert set off in pursuit yelling for the Doberman to let go of his pooch, after
a while, again without breaking stride it spat the little guy out, it rolled over
and over, stood up shook itself and then set off after it’s tormenter yap, yap,
yapping furiously.

As they say it’s not the size of the dog in the fight,
it’s the size of the fight in the dog.



Always finish what you start.


I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found
inner peace.

The article read;

The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.

So I looked around the house to see all the things I’d started and hadn’t
finished…. and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle
of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey’s, Kahlua, and the Wild
Turkey, the Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a box of
chocolates.

You have no idea how freakin’ good I feel.


Dead Birds.

Why do birds die on their backs with their legs up in the air?

Little Johnny’s parrot had just fallen of its perch and died It was lying on
its back on the bottom of the cage its legs pointing upwards.

Johnny asked his father, “Dad when birds die, why do their feet always
point upwards.”

“Well Johnny they do that so that God can reach down, take them by the
claws and pull them up into heaven.” His Dad explained.

Next day when Dad got home from work, Johnny rushed over to him and
said, “Gee Dad we nearly lost Mum today.”

“What do you mean Johnny?” queried his father.

“Well I heard these noises upstairs so I rushed up to see what was
happening.” There was Mum lying on the bed with her legs pointing
straight up and she was yelling, “God I’m coming.”

“If it hadn’t been for the Postman holding her down, we’d have lost
her for sure.”

18 comments:

Karen said...

Boy, I'd feel good after half that stuff LOL Awfully tempting... ;-) LOL

I love the Fairy of Joy, may she beat the shit out of you too!

Have a great day!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

LOL. Oh my. Good stuff today.

I think maybe the fairy is gonna beat on me today. I'm feelin' pretty fine.

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Peter,

I loved that little dog story!!

June

wazza said...

Peter, do the words "Get fumigated" mean anything to you??
also the "dead birds" seemed a little rude to me!!

No_Newz said...

That joke was too funny. Sent it to mom in an email just now.
Sounds like that little dog was a heck of a fighter. :D
Lois Lane

kenju said...

LOVE the frog - you knew I would.

Raggedy said...

You really had me laughing...
Great post!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Jack K. said...

Thanks for reminding me to finish what I start. There is a Black Russian at my elbow. I suspect it will be empty ere long. I also suspect you might advise me to refill the glass.

Thank you for that advice. I will, indeed, refill the glass and empty it too.

lol

Crazedmomof4 said...

haahaahaa!!! Loved this post!!!

Cliff Morrow said...

Funny dog story Peter.
On the subject of your send off in the previous entry...if we attend your funeral we get a Slim Dusty CD, right??
What do we get if we don't bother to come? I'm guessing it's two Slim Dusty CD's.

Hale McKay said...

That Postman was a hero.

...Loved the dog story.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

How did you get that snazzy rotating cube on your blog, Peter?

LZ Blogger said...

Peters ~ It's alaways either the POSTMAN or the Milkman (in the oldend days) that gets blammed here! Glad I was NEVER either! ~ jb///

Jeanette said...

HI Peter
well ive made it home had a great time in Darwin.
Great post liked them all those little dogs sure can yap, and little Johnny this time its the postman still having a chuckle .
Take Care, Jan

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ That dead bird joke is a goodie. Yea the Postman. I remember the story of Albert's Chihuahua.
Take care, Merle.

jules said...

Man, I need to go finish the things I've started. See you in rehab.

Big Dave T said...

Your bit on the yapping dog reminds me of another blogger's tale of embarrassment. One of the funniest anecdotes I've read on blogs . . .

"When I was about 15, I told one of my mother’s co-workers that his wiener got loose, meaning his yappy little daschund, but of course, he looks down at his zipper. I was mortified."

bornfool said...

Lucky that postman was there at the right time.
I got to go finish some things. talk to you soon.