Chihuahua's 'n Other Things

Albert’s Chihuahua.

I read a joke over at Bornfool's that reminded me of this true story, a very good
friend of mine had a Chihuahua that, typical of the breed thought it was a
world beater, it used to patrol the boundary of the property yap, yap, yapping
a warning to all and sundry to stay clear.

My mate, Albert, was washing his car on the front lawn one day when he heard
his dog warning off a Doberman that was strutting by, he watched in
amazement as the yapping increased and without breaking stride the
Doberman picked up his Chihuahua and strutted off down the street with him
firmly clenched in his jaws.

Albert set off in pursuit yelling for the Doberman to let go of his pooch, after
a while, again without breaking stride it spat the little guy out, it rolled over
and over, stood up shook itself and then set off after it’s tormenter yap, yap,
yapping furiously.

As they say it’s not the size of the dog in the fight,
it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Always finish what you start.

I am passing this on to you because it has definitely worked for me.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found
inner peace.

The article read;

The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.

So I looked around the house to see all the things I’d started and hadn’t
finished…. and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle
of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Bailey’s, Kahlua, and the Wild
Turkey, the Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a box of
chocolates.

You have no idea how freakin’ good I feel.

Dead Birds.

Why do birds die on their backs with their legs up in the air?

Little Johnny’s parrot had just fallen of its perch and died It was lying on
its back on the bottom of the cage its legs pointing upwards.

Johnny asked his father, “Dad when birds die, why do their feet always
point upwards.”

“Well Johnny they do that so that God can reach down, take them by the
claws and pull them up into heaven.” His Dad explained.

Next day when Dad got home from work, Johnny rushed over to him and
said, “Gee Dad we nearly lost Mum today.”

“What do you mean Johnny?” queried his father.

“Well I heard these noises upstairs so I rushed up to see what was
happening.” There was Mum lying on the bed with her legs pointing
straight up and she was yelling, “God I’m coming.”

“If it hadn’t been for the Postman holding her down, we’d have lost
her for sure.”