"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween to all.


Halloween Party

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He
being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of
his good time being spoiled by not going.


So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping
soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still
early, she decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought
she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he
acted when she was not with him.


She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around
on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping
a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and
being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry
and devoted! his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let
him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so
off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before
unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the
costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation
he would make for his behaviour.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind
of a time he had. He said: Oh, the same old thing. You know I never
have a good time when you're not there.


Did you dance much?


I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and
played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what
happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."

so ......... don't loan out your costume....


HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS.



God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that
will make your lives better.

The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shall not kill."

"Not kill?

We're not interested."



So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,

"Honor thy Father and Mother."

"Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested."


Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said

"Thou shall not steal."

"Not steal?
We're not interested."


Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not
commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery?
We're not interested."


Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"

"They're free."

"We'll take 10."

There, that ought to offend just about everybody!




16 comments:

Margaret said...

Is Father Christmas branching out to Halloween photos???
Cheers Margaret

Christina said...

Hahahahaha! Love the party story!

JunieRose2005 said...

Peter,

That Halloween party thing was the best I've ever heard!



Very funny-and took me by surprise!

June

OH!! and that pumpkin is VERY BIG! HAHAHA

Katherine said...

Ack, who in the world would have painted on that guy's (girl's?) butt? ugh!!

Serena Joy said...

LOL! That's the funniest Halloween story I've heard in ages. I do NOT know what to make of that, er, pumpkin.:)

Meow said...

Hahahahaha, love your choice of song for the pic with the pumpkin / bum !! Moon *giggle* ... how cute !!!
Hope you are well, Peter, and keeping out of mischief (although, judging by your jokes, I guess you are NOT keeping out of mischief ... teehee !!)
Have a wonderful week.
Take care, Meow

Jim said...

I wonder who painted you, Peter? Or is this a self-portrait?

Best laugh of the day for me, over the Haloween party joke!

Maybe not, I'm glad you said 'just about.'
..

Hale McKay said...

Now that's what i call an equal oppurtunity bash post.

Darn - I had that pic on reserve! Oh well!

You missed the Irish with Commandments joke.

Good post.

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~ I liked the Halloween joke. Saw it before but had forgotten the punch line. Take care, Merle.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Peter, I've come over from Lee's. Love the pumpkin bum picture and the Ten Commandments, more specifically your comment at the end! Ah, another irreverent inhabitant of our planet.

I have Merle as one of my very good friends and have often seen you comment there.

Anyway,have a good week and you are most welcome to visit another Queenslander.

DellaB said...

go Peter!
where on earth do you get these things?
:-)
Della

Cliff Morrow said...

That pumpking pic is a good one but I don't want to be around when it blows it's nose.
Good to hear the party joke again. The 10 commandments were pretty good.

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter
good halloween joke oooohhhhhh
thats a rather large pumpkin.lol

Big Dave T said...

Happy Halloween! I didn't even know they celebrated that down under. Afterall, there's nothing really scary about Australia, is there?

Rachel said...

Very funny!! That pumpkin is scary!!!

Joy Des Jardins said...

Way too funny Peter...that's the best PLUMPKIN I've seen yet. I'm passing it on to some friends. Thanks so much.