"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bra Sizes

This is for the education of all the guys out there,
You girls already know this stuff... Right?



























My best friend.

A man was sitting in a bar gulping down shot after shot
of whiskey. His friend comes into the bar and sees him.

“Lou”, says the shocked friend , “what are you doing ?
I’ve known you for 15 years and I’ve never seen you take
a drink before. What’s going on ?”

Lou replies without even lifting his bleary eyes from his
newly filled shot glass, “My wife just ran off with my best
friend,” and he throws back another shot in one gulp.

“But Lou,” says the other man, “I’m your best friend.”

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot
eyes,smiles and then slurs,

“Not any more.... He is."



Motor cycle advert in the local paper.

2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had
its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all
wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser commuter.

I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a
loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean
what I thought. Call me, Steve. (xxx)867-8292




First day of deer hunting.

While a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer
hunting season, his wife started nagging that he never asked
her to go along. After several hours of argument the wife won.

That next morning they drove out to the country, and he
placed his wife in a tree about 100 yards from his blind.

Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang
coming from the wife's position.

As he ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on
a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from It."

The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said,
"OK, lady.. It's your deer. Just let me get my saddle off of it!"






I don't mind living in a man's world

as long as I can be a woman in it.










11 comments:

JunieRose2005 said...

I liked yer jokes-especially the motorcycle one!

June

kenju said...

I like the bra size charts, Peter. Very amusing.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Peter,

Carol and I BOTH enjoyed the bra size... uh, charts AND pictures. And you are welcome to the poem to use any way you like. I have more I'll be happy to share with you!!

John

Oopseedaisee said...

Very funny. I wonder if the guys would still drool if those DD's were on an80 yr old with the effects of gravity doing its work!

Jim said...

You started good (G-GREAT!) and ended great too. I was ready to take offense about the Texan but then decided it had to happen someplace.
It would make just as good a blonde joke.
..

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi Peter

You and Merle have the same funny gene!

Ian Thorpe certainly is a legend. I know the arduous hours he would have put in, due to my daughter's swim training 30 years ago. After 10 years I can certainly see where he comes from when he says "after doing laps staring at a black line, you look up and realise there are other things", to paraphrase.

It's a sad day though. Good tribute.

Steve G said...

Peter, I don't think I have the energy to pick her up. Chortle.

Christina said...

LOL at bra sizes! Too funny.

BTW, I have really enjoyed your tribute posts to Marilyn Monroe. She was a fascinating woman.

Lee said...

Peter...I've posted my comment below in Della's blog but in case you don't get to read it there, I thought I would replay it here for you.

'Warren's Bar' was a great place to meet up with friends and make new ones. I had many good times there. Warren was a star in his own right. Camp as a row of tents...long fingernails, with polish, even a touch of make-up, I think...he was flamboyant and an excellent barman. He was the main reason the crowds flocked to the National. After we'd all finish up there we'd flock down to the 'DB' aka 'The DeBrazil'...Brisbane's only late night club in those days. It would kick off around 10pm. It was owned and operated by Johnny Morris, who used to perform at the National Hotel in the early part of the evening and then race up to the 'DB' to put on his show there until about 2am or so. I remember being there one Tuesday night and we were sharing a table with two guys and chatted amicably with them for quite a while when all of a sudden they got up on the 'stage' and started 'jamming' together. We discovered our drinking buddies were Doug Ashdown and Lee Conway! And what a show they put on! It was fabulous...spontaneous. I've never forgotten it. Lee Conway, by the way, lives up here on the mountain about 2ks from where I live. I've never seen him but that is what I've been led to believe.

Rachel said...

I don't think bra sizes really go that high....do they??? Mercy me!! LOL. Very cute!!

Great jokes Peter!

DellaB said...

good heavens, my sister Leonie is here visiting and I am showing her about blogging, and GUESS WHAT! .. she used to work At Warren's Bar - how small a world is this?