Life is all about asses.

I hope its not only me who can see the Grand Wizard instructing
the evil black knights in the gentle art of sorcery?

A tale of a donkey.

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the
donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some
people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the
boy was riding.

The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed
positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he
makes that little boy walk."

They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some
more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a
decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how
awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to
carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip
on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well...

Kiss your ass goodbye!


Life is all about asses.

you're either covering it,

laughing it off,

kicking it,

kissing it,

busting it,

trying to get a piece of it,

or behaving like one.





First time sex.

A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come
home from a social engagement when the boy came into the house
with a big smile on his face.

"Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly. "Guess what! I've just had
sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!"

His mother turned red and said to her husband, "He's your son. You
talk to him".

Then she left the room.

The father said "Son, that's great. Now you've become a man and I'm
proud of you. I'm going to celebrate the occasion by buying you that
ten-speed bike you've been wanting. I hope you don't mind waiting
till payday to get it".

"That's OK, Dad", said the boy.

"I couldn't ride it right now anyway, my ass is too sore".


I think that has covered the topic of asses pretty well.




Hollywood is a place where

they'll pay you a thousand dollars

for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.