"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Quirky but Perfect

Another Gem.

Tis the season to be honored, tra la lah lah la...

First Stuart from Gardening tips 'n' ideas asked me to be the judge of his competition searching for the Quirkiest Planter, I've mentioned Stuart's blog before but now would be a good time to go for another look, you might be able to win a prize too.

There were parts of Stuart's email that I thought could have been left
unsaid... like;

Fortunately for us, Peter (like his son) is not a gardener - but he
does know quirky when he sees it. So his choice of the overall winner
will be completely objective - we hope!!

But with that said, I am honored to do my quirkiest best.

(Hey I wonder If I could win this myself? Nah, that would look a bit
sus... wait a minute though I could be bribed by somebody else
though with promises of great wealth or... sexual favors.... Nah
better play by the rules...)


To top of my day, along comes my ol' buddy Hoss with this news;

Dear Peter:
For your great b**g concerning pregnancy and the "middle wife," I am
awarding you a Perfect Post. This is the brainchild of MommaK and
Lucinda (http://petroville.com and
http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com) We selectors get to choose a
fine post once a month. Yours is the finest for May, according to me.

Now this would be flattering no matter who it came from but from
but coming from The Master B****er himself that is praise indeed,
I humbly thank you for it Hoss.

So Aussie.

Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said, "Julia I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."

"Good idea Opposition Leader, how will we go about it?" said Julia.

"Well," said Rudd, "we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh and a Blue Cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush."

"Right ," said Julia. Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue heeler, they set off from
Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

"G,day mate," said Rudd, to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer."

"Good afternoon Opposition Leader," said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the Cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and ,lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar. Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and, lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the Barman over.

"Tell me," said Rudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"

(Kevin Rudd is the leader of the opposition party and Julia Gillard is the deputy leader here in Australia, but feel free to insert names of your own choice.)


Puss-in-Boots said...

Peter, you are obviously not a Laborite...not with that joke about KR and JG anyway. Poor old Julia, she's had it from Bill Heffernan and now you...tut, tut. She'll end up with a complex if you blokes don't lay off...shame, Peter, Bill and all others, shame.

Anonymous said...

"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"

Peter, you did it again. Damn I got a good laugh out of this.

Dave said...

*LOL* I had seen this joke before.... kinda differently used, but just as funny!

Rachel said...

LOL !! Very funny joke Peter!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Cliff Morrow said...

Great joke Peter.
On trying to win the contest by shady dealings (sexual favors),,,,I'll pass.

Hale McKay said...

LOL! Loved 'the dog with two arseholes' joke Peter.

Scrolling down I was enjoying your stickman comics - I like them.

I'll throw in a B'LoonZ comic everynow and then. They are fun to do.

Hale McKay said...

...And congratulations on your May Perfect POst Award. It is well deserved.

Jim said...

Hi Peter, I thought you were about out of the drawings. They have good lines. And lines and circles too.

LittleJen said...

Very cute stick figure cartoons...

Christina said...

LOL, very funny joke!

Miss Cellania said...

Quirky but perfect.. that's you alright!

Jamie Dawn said...

Nice shoes - very funny!!

I don't think Hoss will like you calling him The Master Booger. :-) Just kidding, of course.
He is a gem and so are you!

Lee said...

Hahahahaha! I love that last joke...having a big giggle here! ;)

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Quirky I can relate to, Perfect -- not too sure about that!!
Congrats on the award. I didn't get one when I posted that Middle Wife.
It's who you know in life!!
Hope all is well with you, Love, Merle.

Willowtree said...

Telstra has finally seen fit to provide broadband to my neck of the woods so I am now able to comment.
Funny joke, although I'd prefer a dog with two arseholes to what we have now, which is a cabinet full of pricks.

Walker said...

Great Joke

Congrats on the award.
I am sure you will do a great job as judge but the sexual favours good LOL

Have a nice weekend

Raggedy said...

Congratulations on yer perfect post!
LMAO at the joke.
I am going to be away again but I hope to be back soon.
Thank you for checking in and for your support.
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one