Quirky but Perfect

Another Gem.














Tis the season to be honored, tra la lah lah la...

First Stuart from Gardening tips 'n' ideas asked me to be the judge of his competition searching for the Quirkiest Planter, I've mentioned Stuart's blog before but now would be a good time to go for another look, you might be able to win a prize too.

There were parts of Stuart's email that I thought could have been left
unsaid... like;

Fortunately for us, Peter (like his son) is not a gardener - but he
does know quirky when he sees it. So his choice of the overall winner
will be completely objective - we hope!!

But with that said, I am honored to do my quirkiest best.

(Hey I wonder If I could win this myself?  Nah, that would look a bit
sus... wait a minute though I could be bribed by somebody else
though with promises of great wealth or... sexual favors.... Nah
better play by the rules...)

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.

To top of my day, along comes my ol' buddy Hoss with this news;

Dear Peter:

For your great b**g concerning pregnancy and the "middle wife," I am
awarding you a Perfect Post. This is the brainchild of MommaK and
Lucinda (http://petroville.com and
http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com) We selectors get to choose a
fine post once a month. Yours is the finest for May, according to me.

Now this would be flattering no matter who it came from but from
but coming from The Master B****er himself that is praise indeed,
I humbly thank you for it Hoss.

So Aussie.

Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said, "Julia I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."

"Good idea Opposition Leader, how will we go about it?" said Julia.

"Well," said Rudd, "we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh and a Blue Cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush."

"Right ," said Julia. Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

"G,day mate," said Rudd, to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer."

"Good afternoon Opposition Leader," said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the Cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and ,lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar. Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and, lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the Barman over.

"Tell me," said Rudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"

(Kevin Rudd is the leader of the opposition party and Julia Gillard is the deputy leader here in Australia, but feel free to insert names of your own choice.)