"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

All contributions gratefully accepted.

The bulk carrier Pasha Balkar aground near Newcastle in a recent storm.

In a very well coordinated effort the huge bulk carrier was re-floated two weeks
later without major mishap, proving yet again things could have been worse.........

It could have been the ship below that ran aground.

While I appreciate the contributions of the folk who send me stuff that
eventually winds up on my blog I'm starting to get the feeling that I get it
because "They" are too chicken to post it themselves??? so keep those cards
and letters (and emails) rolling in, it's easier than me writing my own stuff.

Dave Allen.

It can be hard work getting started. Take being a stand up comic, for example. Probably every comedian currently in or out of work has heard the sobering tale of the prematurely cocky young performer at the Edinburgh Fringe who, after completing about twenty minutes or so of what he thought of as his strongest material, had still not managed to elicit a single laugh.

As the saliva fled from his mouth, the cold sweat raced down the back of his neck, the young comic played his final card. Spotting a mature looking gentleman seated near the front of the small audience, the desperate comic called out and asked him for his name.

The mature-looking gentleman gazed back at him and replied "Dave Allen".

The room fell silent as the rest of the audience sucked in and held its collective breath.

The young comic, not recognizing one of his professions most enduring and successful and widely admired practitioners, pursued his line of inquiry. "So, Dave," he continued, "What do you do ?"

Dave Allen looked back at the young man, paused for one, two, three beats, and then, very calmly and very softly, uttered the fatal words. "I'm a comedian…
What do you do ?"


A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her...

"You want... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?"


Puss-in-Boots said...

Dave Allen was a wonderful comedian, how funny he should be picked on by a novice like that...as you say, what do you do...heheh!

Pamela said...

those stories....I'm shaking my head.... just shaking my head.

good news about the Pasha Balkar. First saw it over at Willowtree.

That URANUS ship reminds me of the old Klingon jokes.

Dave said...

*ROTFLMAO* on the Asian joke!

Walker said...


To bad it wasn't butter chicken

Good news on them getting that ship off without any real damage to the enviroment.
To aften we have had to watch people saving wildlife from oil slicks in the waters off our shores.

You asked about my other link in my comments. It's in my sidebar as "Last Soul".
Nothing apecial really.

Anonymous said...

Given the fact that "butter chicken" is an Indian dish, I'm not sure how that would have made an already sketch joke better...

JunieRose2005 said...


Very Funny!

Lee said...

Did you know that the "Pasha Bulker" ran aground in the Gulf of Mexico last year? I think the captain and his navigators need to go back to school! ;)

TLP said...

OMG!!!! TOO too funny!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You got very good stuff here, Peter. So I am going to swipe one of your tales. Sue me.

Big Dave T said...

My wife and I used to be regular visitors to the local comedy club where we saw Tim Allen (no relation, I think). He later did the TV show Home Improvement, the movie The Santa Clause, etc.

Peter said...

testing on netspace

Cliff said...

I am giving this entry a purple ribbon. And the joke gets Best Of Show.

kenju said...

Good joke, Peter, and I am surprised that you didn't say anything about the name of the boat.

Hale McKay said...

OMG! ....garlic chicken with corrifrowa....

Thankfully I wasn't eating or drinking anything - it would have been all over my monitor and keyboard.

The best joke I've heard in a long time!

Val said...

Good ones, Peter!

Thanks for telling me about Netspace talking again to Blogger. I too have found Gmail very reliable but also like all my email in the one place. I'll test it out first, as you suggest.