"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

A little bit of this... and a little bit of that.


Hope all the US readers have a great Independence Day.


Tonight I watched a movie that I really enjoyed and I would like to suggest if
you haven't seen it already have a look at it, as it was released in 2006 you
should be able to rent it out easily, its;

The Ron Clark Story, and it stars Matthew Perry (Friends) who I must admit I
have always looked on as a bit of a lightweight actor, however in this movie he
gives an excellent performance.

Who will this movie appeal to? ... lets see.... if you have kids or grandkids, if you
live in an urban area, if you ever attended school,.... if you are breathing... it
should be your kind of movie, its a modern day version of Blackboard Jungle/Call
me Mr Tibbs and best of all its a true story, readers from the USA will very
likely know the story well.

I was attracted first by the name Ron Clark as we had an athlete here in
Australia by that name, he carried the Olympic flame into the stadium at the
1956 Melbourne Olympics.... Glad I noticed that name.



I'm using this post to clear out some of the stuff thats been sent to me
recently, Thanks, Suzz, Lyle (a non blogger friend) Wazza, and of course
Olivia Komo.


A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.


Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.

Not bad eh!

 THAT'S how you wave a towel !!

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It doesn't help and the wife is still unsatisfied.

Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

"Okay," he says to the husband, "try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice.

They go home and hire the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous,room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.


The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!!!"



I knew if I got enough of these letters I would
eventually hear from the right one.


FROM: OLIVIA KOMO
IVORY COAST
ABIDJAN,
DEAR LOVELY ONE,

PLEASE PERMIT ME TO INTRODUCE MY SELF TO YOU, MY NAME IS OLIVIA KOMO,I AM 20 YEARS OLD, THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF LATE CHIEF EMMANUEL KOMO WHO WAS A FAMOUS COCOA MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN HERE,THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST (COTE D'IVOIRE). I AM SEEKING FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION TO HELP ME TRANSFER THE SUM OF (US$6,500,000.00 )SIX MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE OF AMERICAN DOLLARS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. PLEASE, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THIS MY TOTAL FUND AS YOUR COMMISSION FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE TO ME. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE ALL THE NECESSARY DOCUMENTS IN RELATION TO THIS FUND DEPOSITED BY MY LATE FATHER IN THE BANK. PLEASE QUICKLY
AND KINDLY REPLY ME

PLEASE KINDLY MAIL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MY LETTER FOR ME TO GIVE YOU MORE IMPORTANT DETAILS CONCERNING THIS FUND AND EQUALLY SEND YOU MY PHOTOS SO THAT YOU WUILL SEE AND KNOW WHOM I AM.
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
OLIVIA KOMO

Now that's more like it,

Dear Lovely One................
The sale is almost made with that opening line, so of course I sent of my reply as she had requested and true to her word I got an answer and the photo as promised.
Now she is obviously computer literate so I think we are off to a good start.

(I must be honest here, I thought she may be a little darker skinned.)

What do you think?







16 comments:

Big Dave T said...

Maybe it's just because I'm a bit younger than you, but I'd hold out for $7 million and a more revealing outfit.

Marti said...

Thank you for letting me use your picture yesterday. I hope you have a wonderful day, my friend!

kenju said...

I don't know how many MPG I get, but I don't walkl that far....LOL

And what do I think? I think they're fake.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Cute joke, cute pic.

GOOgle. How clever.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You suppose she's got a cell phone in there?

Pamela said...

O got a similar letter... but no picture. not fair.

Lee said...

You forgot to mention Ron Clark is now the mayor of the Gold Coast as well, Peter.

I fail in both those "average Australians".

If anyone thinks those false breasts on Pamela Anderson are attractive, I think they need to have their heads read! Maybe she should throw in the towel! ;)

Jim said...

It was the "G.....gle" on her dress that attracted me.
I wonder if it stands for Google?
Gargle? Gargoyle?
..

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yetch! Watermelons just are not attractive at all. Imagine the damage to the spine carrying all that weight in front. If she fell over she'd never get up without help (is that the thundering of male feet I hear?).

As for Olivia...Peter you are such a sceptic (said with tongue in cheek).

Jack K. said...

Great post.

Great joke.

Great photo.

It gives a whole new meaning to google.

Jamie Dawn said...

That man must REALLY be a great towel waver!!

It's July 4th here, and we are preparing for a night of fireworks. It will be fun!!

That lady looks a lot like Pamela Anderson, fake boobs and all.

Slavenka said...

Happy 4th of July!

Joy Des Jardins said...

Hmmmm...I say her plan is to have everyone oogle at her Google. And, I'm sure things are going to plan.

TLP said...

Love the towel joke!

To each his own on the big fake boobs. As a woman I hafta say that they look painful. Normal ones are bother enough, always in the way, etc.

Walker said...

Yeah but how much leekage is there between the pub abd home lol

I know Pamela was made in Canada but where were the jugs made.
We are still talking about beer here right?

Have a nice day

Zaac said...

my grampa... all grown up and screwing with the scammers. im so proud. =]
i hear ur planning a trip to the US?! crazy times...
love you lots

zachariah