"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Have a laugh


Deformities.

Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her soooo much.

However, Jim felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he also had a deformity too. Jim looked Sandy in the eyes and said.... "I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."

She said, "Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."

Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait for the Honeymoon. Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another...

As Sandy put her hands in Jim's pants she began to scream and ran out of the room!

Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. "You told me you penis was the size of an infant!", she said.

"Yes it is..... 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!!"



Grumpy’s adventure

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .

'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting....................

'Grumpy shagged a penguin! - Grumpy shagged a penguin!~~~~~~~~~



Judge to prostitute: "When did you realize that you had been raped?"

Prostitute, wiping away tears, "When the check bounced."







13 comments:

Dave said...

*ROTFLMAO* Great ones Peter!!!!

CAROLYN said...

Funnnneeee!!! :D

ChrisB said...

Hilarious :)

Junebug said...

Oh the humor! You find the zaniest ones.

Cliff said...

Hey Peter, I'm pleased to hear of some improvement for Vicki, especially in the pain management area. I sure hope and pray things continue onward and upward.
The jokes here on this post were great. Thanks for the laugh.

kenju said...

Too funny!

Jeanette said...

Gday Peter,, Great Joke hehehehe

Jack K. said...

ROTFLMAO

Great post. I needed the laugh.

Oh, Yeah!

Walker said...

LMAO!!!!!!!

We have a place here where you can get your haircut by large breasted naked women. I had to stop going.
Not because I was thrown out or anything like that but one day I almost drowned when one bent over to was my hair a one big breast fell over my face and held my head under the water until i almost drowned, in pleasure.
So I figured dreowning wasn't worth the haircut and went back to Guido.

karisma said...

Very amusing, especially the penguin one.

Christina said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ROFL @ "shagged a penguin"!

Pamela said...

never a dull moment here, Peter!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Many good chuckles here, Holtie.

I had some good times as a child, also, but lost all the pix in the course of 15 moves. So it goes.