"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Fun Monday July 28

Mommy Wizdom is hosting Fun Monday this week

http://blog.mommywizdom.com/

Here’s da rules;

The topic for Fun Monday for 7/28 is:

If you were ruler for a day/week/month/year (your choice on the time) you would...

ex...make coffee free to all citizens. Or you'd abolish the penny. You may also specify if you're ruler of the world or just your country. Have fun with it; be creative.


There's my favourite word again... CREATIVE

I have long held the view that there should be a better way to start the day than “mornings” and a much better way to start the week than “Mondays” so among the far reaching changes that my year of being in charge of the world will bring; Mornings have been completely abolished and henceforth days will begin at midday, this will completely eliminate one meal each day (breakfast) so will be a great help to our budgets and our efforts to take control of our weight, along similar lines Monday is to be eliminated leaving a 4 day working week, a far more suitable arrangement for those still employed, the rest of us don’t really mind what the days are called.. so there!!!

There has been an unseemly trend of late for prices to spiral out of control so there will be an instant reduction in the price of such essentials as; Petrol (gas to you Americans), Fast food (who wants to cook?), Admission charges to all entertainment venues, All alcoholic beverages, but not for those nasty cigarettes though, they’re BAD for you, these price cuts will start with 50% reductionsand will be further adjusted (downwards) as required.

Our political leaders (but not me of course…. Someone has to do all the planning) will be made personally responsible for sanitation collections, fighting on the front line of any wars or skirmishes that they allow to occur, and will, effective immediately, be entirely responsible for their own pension funds.

Noisy children and barking dogs will be fitted with those wonderful training collars that give a mild (well non-lethal) jolt when they flex their throats to yell/bark, similarly motorists who insist on loud exhaust noises (from their cars) or squealing tyres (tires for you pedantic Yanks and your spell checkers) will have their vehicles confiscated.

There will be a new subject added to all school curriculum’s, it will have a daily class of 1 hour for all students, this new subject will be known as Blogging and will be compulsory, there will be a competition (No, it will NOT be a MEME) to select suitable teachers for Blogging held at a website near you very soon, more details to follow.

Because we (you will be pleased to see that I am a fast learner, already using the royal "we") realize that things have been tough for some time now the workforce will be granted a salary/wage increase of 25% while pensions will increase by 80% effective immediately (yeah I know that’s a big increase in the pension rate… if you’re not happy about it… tough, you shouldn’t give old people the “Rulers” position!!!)

That will have to do for Day 1 as its time for me to take a nap and dream up some more “improvements” I'm going to look into world peace, famine and crime once these important changes are in effect.

Go visit Mommy Wizdom and check out some more blogs.




22 comments:

karisma said...

Ha ha! Very funny! Except for the dog/kid collar, thats not very nice!
Why is it, that when peoples own kids grow up they don't like kids anymore? (If they are being too noisy, simply ask them to shut up, nicely!)

Totally agree with the rest though! Especially the pension increase! It makes me SO MAD seeing pensioners struggling to buy decent food when they have worked all their life and payed taxes and then you see 20 year old bimbos with six kids to as many fathers raking in a fortune each week. I would abolish that one and give them free child care instead. I bet they would not want to have to earn their own money and come home to six kids each night! They would maybe stop at one!

Faye said...

Well Peter the Great, let's see. I support your doing away with mornings although we retired people can stay up as late as they like and start our day whenever. I also support your sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander policy for politicians. And blogging as a curriculum requirement? May we old people sign up as well? Some day I'd like to--and need to-- host a Fun Monday but don't know how to "Ms. Linky."

Olive said...

Hurray! I am all for the jolting collars and politicians doing the dirty job for a change. Hang in there it just might happen some day.

Sayre said...

You forgot the car radios blasting so loudly that the vehicles around it vibrate! Other than that, I say "hear, hear!"

Robocop said...

We can sure as hell use that wage increase. I can't help but laugh at the thought of our modern day leaders actually participating in combat like the days of old. We have too many quiche eaters in power.

Puss-in-Boots said...

You've got my vote...Hail, Peter, Ruler of The Ideal World.

Dave said...

Me... I'd make it so that criminals in prison have to work for privileges. Make them do dirty work, make prison a VERY unhappy place to be. Bring back chain gangs. Prisoners rights? They lost them when the violated others rights.

When we make prison downright miserable for them, maybe they'll think twice about committing the crime.

But that's just me.

swampruler said...

Where do I apply to be the Blogging Teacher? Not that I know very much about blogging, but I can learn...and I would love blogging with the kids.

Jan said...

I'm for all but the dog zapping collars for kids. Great post.

Mom said...

Interesting view - I do like the abolishment of Mondays - that name has such bad connotations.

Thanks for participating.

MommyWizdom said...

Hey there - oops - that last comment by mom was me - sorry, I hit return too soon -

Puss-in-Boots said...

Thanks for your comment, Peter. No I wasn't drunk when I gave out the award...although I thought about it. I just thought that...well...it may act as incentive of some kind. You know, like a carrot at the end of a stick...it would spur you on to greater efforts.

Big Momma said...

Totally agree with all of your suggestions, except the no breakfast thing. I don't think that I could live without pancakes! Yum...

Irish Coffeehouse said...

No more Mondays?!?!?! No more mornings?!?!?!! I think I'm sold! Actually I think I'm selfnominating for position as campaign manager! lol

Jeanette said...

Gday Peter,
Let the Pollies get out dirty their hands and do a hard days work. as for the Collar Jo's new dog was a yapper so she bought a collar every time it barks it emits a Citronella spray.IT works and doesn't hurt the dog.AS for screaming kids UGH, This generation dont seem to know the word "NO"!, or a good hard smack for misbehaving.Oh I better get of my soap box... Take care hope the weathers warmer there its B cold here,,,

Pamela said...

yes yes yes to the new jobs for politicians. (although I think they all start out thinking they are going to change the world... and instead the world changes them.)

one problem on the morning elimination: midday would become the new morning and midnight snacks would still make me bloated giggle.

Gattina said...

hahaha ! fortunately you are NOT the ruler, there are several things I don't agree ! Barking dogs, they are not responsible, the owners are and I love mornings that's the moment where I am the most creative ! I agree to skip the breakfast I never had one (except as a child) I am not hungry at all ! I don't bother about mondays off either as I am off the whole year !

Molly said...

Excellent suggestions...can we do something about people that play loud music next?

Walker said...

You got my vote LOL
Wait, my day starts at mid day now

Alison said...

I love the new jobs for the politicians...great rule...actually I like all your ideas except for the zapping collar...I would rather see the zapping collar on the parents or the pet owners!!

DellaB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DellaB said...

good one Peter! Where do we go to sign up for migration to this new 'utopia'?

I'm not on the pension (yet), but I would be soon if they would let me still work/earn enough to top it up to a living amount... maybe with this new 'review'..