"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Censorship... Ban The Press.

Bloody Hell, just as I perfected my "sleep-in technique" they come up with this stuff.

We are just emerging from our winter season here in Australia, can anyone think of a
more pleasant experience than simply turning over and going back to sleep on a cold
morning? after years of being unable to achieve this I recently discovered a way of
going peacefully back to sleep, in fact getting more restful sleep than the previous
night had produced!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you want to share this secret and risk the wrath of Alzheimer's and Dementia??

If you were brave enough to answer yes... read on, if not please go elsewhere....

My simple solution to getting back to sleep is, DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES, I found,
for years, that once I opened my eyes to look at the time, or simply for orientation
purposes that was it sleep deserted me.
Since I made this simple discovery I have been able to just roll over and retreat again
to the land of NOD for another 2 or 3 hours, now the bastards tell me I'm killing my
brain.


Heres another discovery.... I had never even heard of the word, much less believed
that I was one, when along comes Katherine Chatfield to inform me that by doing a
web searching (who would have believed that goggling improveyourflow.com or similar
could be harmful??) my symptoms, real or imaginary, I had become a cyberchondriac.

I used to religiously buy the Sunday paper, some would say that WAS my religion, be
that as it may, over the past few months I had not read a Sunday paper, last Sunday
I bought one.... only to make the above listed discoveries, thats it!!!! no more Sunday
paper for me.

6 comments:

WT said...

Those medical stories linking this to that are so full of shit!

You may remember years ago that there was a link between aluminium and Alzheimers, yet you hear very little about that these days.

Why? Because after scaring the crap out of everyone and forcing them to get rid of their aluminium pots and pans, the boffins discovered that the readings were coming from the Al they were using as a catalyst for their testing.

Puss-in-Boots said...

I agree with WT, Peter. Scientists make some tenuous link between this and that then the press gets a hold of it and scares the living shit out of everyone! I quite often have a nana nap in the afternoon and will continue to do so. Alzheimer's is hereditary so who says that people who sleep longer are more prone to it than people who don't? A load of utter codswallop!!

kenju said...

Peter, over here we have a saying...
"If you don't like the results of a medical study, wait until the next one comes out - it will refute the first one!"

Dave said...

Well, at least I don't usually sleep more than 8 hours a day!!!

Hope things are going well with you today Peter!

Maria said...

Peter, Don't worry. A new theory will come out tomorrow. I love my afternoon nap so I will wait until someone finds out it does our nervous system a world of good. My favorite theories center around coffee. . . which I could never give up. So I listen when they say it is good for you and I turn them off when they say it is bad.

Bob said...

Hi Peter, It seems we're all doomed one way or another. Once upon a time an apple a day was all it took to keep the doctor away. Bob.