How to install a wireless security system at your home:
1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work
boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on
top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
2) Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.
3) With Items #1 and #2, leave a note on your front door
that says something like:
"Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more
ammunition - - back in 1/2 an hr.