The Week Between

The What-chama-call-it Poem

This sort of thing is happening to a lot of us,

it starts out being mildly amusing, but soon

becomes a constant source of annoyance.

I’ve got used to my arthritis,

To my dentures I’m resigned,

I can cope with my bifocals,

But, God, I miss my mind.

Sometimes I can’t remember,

When I’m standing by the stair,

If I was going up for something,

Or have just come down from there.

If it’s not my turn to write dear

I hope you won’t get sore,

I may think that I have written and

Don’t want to be a bore.

So remember that I love you, and

Wished that you lived near,

Now it’s time to mail this

And say goodbye my dear.

At last, I stand beside the mail box,

And my face it sure is red;

For instead of posting this to you,

I’ve opened it instead.

Author Unknown

13 things a man can do at K-Mart ... 

while his wife is taking her sweet time.

 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and  randomly put them in
people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in homewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3 . Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a
while, then yell loudly:
"There's no toilet paper in here!".

4. Walk up to an  employee and tell him/her in an
official tone: 

"Code 3 in housewares!"  and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-by.

6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to
a carpeted  area.

7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department --
and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over;
invite them in if they bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can  help you,
begin to cry and ask:
"Why can't you people just leave me ALONE!?  

9. Look right into the security camera, use it
as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while
loudly humming the theme from "
Mission Impossible."

11. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people
browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!

13. When an announcement comes over the
loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream "NOOOOOOOOOOO! It's those
voices again!!!"