Still over the hill !!!

It's not gettin' any better folks.

You're over the hill when... You desperately need someone
to talk you through your new Windows program.

And look who they send.... a bloody 8 year old kid.

You know you're over the hill when.... You suddenly become
anal retentive about everything in an attempt to gain
control of your life.


"And so it goes" as my buddy Hoss says, but I guess I'm still
gonna rebel agin this bloody hill, I thought it was pretty hard
work climbin' up it, but it sure is a fast ride goin' down.

Dear Husband:

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today,
and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favourite meal
and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight
to sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything.

You're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the
case is, I'm gone.

Take care,

Your EX-Wife and Good Riddance

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.

Your brother and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Wife:

Nothing made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant
nagging.

Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week; the
first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!"

My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
anything nice.

When you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with my brother, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it.

I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the full life you always wanted.

My lawyer said that letter that you wrote should guarantee
you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Sincerely, Your Rich As Hell and Free Ex-Husband!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother
was born Carla.

I hope that's not a problem.