Cell Phones and other in-convenieces

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I have a trio of very funny jokes for you all to get a chuckle from today.

Cell Phones.

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine!' And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?' What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!' At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come ! over?' Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 'No..I'm a little busy right now!!!' Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions Cell phones, don't you just love them.

Sex Sandals.

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop! So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex.

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god that he was. The husband asked the man, How could sandals make you into a sex freak?

The Jamaican replied, Just try dem on, Mon. Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes. . . something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of he Jamaican's hips. The Jamaican then began screaming,

YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET! !

The Stuttering Cat.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter."

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty, and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back and went
'Fffff,Fffff, Fffff'...and before he could say "F**k " the Rottweiler ate him!"